When Ozzy Osbourne Became the Most Unlikely Relatable Reality TV Dad

You didn’t have to be a metalhead to be an Ozzy Osbourne fan in the aughts. You didn’t have to know that he was once the lead singer of Black Sabbath, that he was known as the “Prince of Darkness,” that he once bit the head off a dead bat or even that he was a musician at all.

Years before the Kardashians, the Osbournes reigned over the reality TV family realm. And Ozzy Osbourne, who died on Tuesday at the age of 76, was America’s brilliantly befuddled, profanity-slinging, improbably lovable and relatable TV dad.

The show, titled “The Osbournes,” debuted in March 2002 on MTV and was an immediate smash, setting the template for a slew of reality shows to come.

It followed the domestic life of his family in its Beverly Hills home. The other main characters, so to speak, were his wife, Sharon, and two of their teenage children, Kelly and Jack.

For more than 50 episodes over four seasons, the Osbournes appealed to viewers by being both a spectacle — the out-of-touch Hollywood household — and a familiarly flawed family, loving and tight-knit.

“All the stuff onstage, the craziness, it’s all just a role that I play, my work,” Osbourne said in an interview with The New York Times in 1992. “I am not the Antichrist. I am a family man.”

In his unique way, he showed that side to the world with “The Osbournes,” while giving a new generation some classic Ozzy moments that left MTV’s censors plenty busy. Here are a handful.

(The clips linked to below include vulgar language — plenty of it — and are uncensored versions of what ran on MTV during the show’s initial run.)

Technology was not Ozzy’s strong suit. This shortcoming was never more evident, or more memorialized, than when he got frustrated by a complex new remote control, a giant contraption that looks like the first iPad prototype.

When a phone starts ringing nearby as he pounds at the screen, his wires get extra crossed.

“I’m a very simple man,” he says. “You gotta have a computer now just to turn the [expletive] TV on and off.”

“Space age [expletive],” he mumbles to himself.

Luckily, Jack steps in to save the day, and the scene ends with a sweet moment as Ozzy pulls his son into a hug to watch a documentary.

While preparing for Ozzy’s tour, Sharon gives him a rundown of his stage show behind the scenes. It starts out on brand with a smattering of pyrotechnics but then veers into children’s birthday party territory with a bubble machine.

“Ozzy, there you go, look,” Sharon says to him in a singsong voice. “Tiny bubbles.”

Ozzy is far from impressed. “Bubbles!” he responds, incredulous. “Oh, come on, Sharon! I’m [expletive] Ozzy Osbourne, the Prince of [expletive] Darkness. Evil! Evil! What’s [expletive] evil about a buttload of [expletive] bubbles?”

In a coming-of-age rite of passage, Kelly got a tattoo on her 18th birthday: a small pink heart on her hip. A charming scene plays out in which she caves and tells her father, who gives her the timeless scolding about having it there for the rest of her life, followed by a tale about one of his tattoos that got horribly infected.

When they call Sharon to inform her, Ozzy gently defends the tiny work on their daughter.

“It’s not all that bad,” he says later, shirtless with much of his body art exposed. “I thought she was gonna show me a picture of [expletive] eagle on her ass or something like that.”

The Osbournes are truly animal lovers, and perhaps the most darling part of the series was how nearly every scene had at least one of the family’s many dogs or cats sniffing around. But as every pet owner knows, it’s not all cuddles and snuggles. In one episode, we see a montage of a tiled floor, an antique rug and a new couch get wrecked by their not-quite-potty-trained menagerie.

“We paid all the money to have this house renovated. And these dogs — we might as well live in a [expletive] sewer,” says Ozzy, clearly at the end of his rope.

“It doesn’t smell that bad,” says a visiting Elijah Wood.

When Sharon brings in a therapist to help the family with the dogs, Ozzy suggests a more practical solution: “You don’t need a therapist. You just need to get up at 7 and open the [expletive] door.”

When a cat gets trapped behind a mirror, one of the most hilarious, slapstick scenes on the show unfolds, with his family, screaming in terror and doubled over in laughter, warning him that the feline is about to attack.

“Don’t scream, please don’t scream,” Ozzy says to his family. “Just calm [expletive] down.”

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