There are many legitimate reasons why both Stephen Colbert and the “The Late Show” franchise were cancelled by CBS last week.
There’s the collapse of TV late-night’s business model amid rising costs, declining profits, and shrinking viewership. There’s Colbert’s unrelenting criticism of a thin-skinned president while CBS’s parent company, Paramount Global, seeks to finalize an $8.4 billion merger with Skydance Media, which requires regulatory approval from the federal government.
All of these things could be true.
However, “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” host floated another eyebrow-raising theory on July 21, that, while made in apparent jest, shouldn’t be brushed away like panini crumbs in Movember: This firing was spurred on by his controversial summer mustache. It was “stashe-ism.”
More: Stephen Colbert is out at CBS. Is all of late-night TV officially doomed?
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Colbert returned from summer hiatus to “The Late Show” on July 14, sporting what I charitably referred to as an “unfortunate summer mustache.” In his first monologue, the host got way too close to the camera while discussing the ongoing facial hair situation on his upper lip, which he referred to as his “salt and pepper cookie pusher.”
Sure, Colbert also eviscerated Donald Trump and Paramount in the same monologue, causing consternation in corner offices and likely the Oval Office. Yet as we all know, three nights later, a newly shaven Colbert announced the news of “The Late Show” cancellation to a stunned nation. I’m following the mustache trail.
I would have kept quiet on my theory until Colbert blew his own whistle on July 21, which he’s able to do now that the ‘stache has been removed.
“I delivered a blistering monologue during which I had the courage to have a mustache,” Colbert said. “CBS saw my upper lip, and Boom! Canceled! Coincidence? Oh, I think not. This is worse than fascism. This is ‘stache-ism.”
Hollywood history is filled with great mustache battles, including Tom Selleck’s insistence on keeping his as Frank Reagan, the New York police commissioner on CBS’s “Blue Bloods.” Selleck and his famous facial hair won that battle.
Henry Cavill discussed his “mustache fiasco” on his Instagram account in 2017, obliquely explaining how the Superman star was compelled to keep his “Mission: Impossible” villain mustache for “Justice League” reshoots. The bushy “beast” was not right for the clean-cut Man of Steel, obviously.
It was digitally and ineffectively removed from “Justice League,” a source of online derision.
It needs to be pointed out that Cavill is no longer DC’s Superman. Coincidence?
