Let’s give a round of applause to the senior staff at Bravo for hearing our grievances and pleas for a return to form for the city that helped put Housewives on the map. After production kept the show on ice for a year, RHOA returns with a mini-facelift — not a full snatch and staple, but one you can pass off to your friends as a healthy dose of Botox and a strict skincare routine. For the season-16 premiere, we get new wives, old faces, breadcrumbs of a scandal between newbies and veterans, some physical comedy involving a donkey booty, and a wig mishap, making it feel more Atlanta than ever.
I may be ahead of myself as we’re only one episode in, but if Shamea can refer to herself as “the female Jamie Foxx,” I think I’m allowed to be a little delusionally optimistic, too. Shamea is a great place to start as we venture into the season because somehow, Shimmy Shimmy Coco Puff, as Kenya once snarkily described her, is now the group’s nucleus. Considering how well promoting another long-time friend-of went last time, it feels like a random, if not flat-out dangerous, move. But Shamea has something Marlo doesn’t: a shit ton of money. Surprisingly, Shamea is living the life a lot of past Atlanta Housewives fought for with her rich African husband Gerald (who doesn’t seem to speak and has a real job, what a dream!), two beautiful babies, and a sprawling mansion.
The security of Shamea’s lifestyle already sets her apart from Marlo, but her quirky personality — she’s a lot sillier than I realized — and connections to everyone on the cast make her integral to the potential of this revamp. Her elevated status as a full-timer allows her bestie Porsha’s return to feel more natural, and she has solid relationships with Cynthia and Kenya from years of filming. Shamea also has friendships with the newbies and already-established besties, Kelli Ferrell and Brit Eady, from running around the same circles. However, these Atlanta circles are noticeably different from the ones that originated the series comprised of stay-at-home moms, trophy wives, and socialites; this cast feels more youthful and contemporary, reflecting a modern version of the city. Remember in season five, when Cynthia and Phaedra filmed with their husbands at the strip club? And how the comedic value of the scene hinged on how out of place the wives looked in the setting? Well, fast forward to tonight and we see Porsha and Shamea filming at a strip club, looking as natural and comfortable as could be. It’s a new era.
In their first one-on-one scene, the two seasoned cast members get straight to work stirring the pot when Shamea relays information from her group dinner with Kelli and Brit regarding Kelli’s shots thrown at Porsha about the tea surrounding her divorce. The last time we saw Ms. Porsha soon-to-be-Williams-again, she was fighting off Bolo allegations before leaving the show and riding off into the sunset with Simon Guibodia, the same month he began his divorce from RHOA friend-of Falyn. The timeline is murky at best, though by walking away from the show and conveniently returning during her divorce process — the Randy Kessler appearance plus the side-by-side of her twelve years ago was hilarious — Porsha dodged having to truly defend her union on television (that messy ass spin-off doesn’t count). But Kelli isn’t having it — as someone who dealt with infidelity in her own now-severed marriage, she brings the “Porsha stole Falyn’s man” narrative to the table.
Kelli isn’t shy at all in her introduction to the show; we meet her at her daughter Chloe’s birthday party where she showers the teenager with seventeen designer bags, one for each year she’s been alive, helping Shamea bring displays of wealth back to RHOA. She also uses this scene to segue her relationship woes, involving a potentially violent ex-husband and contemptuous divorce. Despite still reeling from the dissolution of her marriage and how it affects her four daughters, Kelli brings boss bitch energy through her waffle empire consisting of the restaurant Nana’s Chicken and Waffles, cookbooks, and a mimosa mix. Brit, on the other hand, is currently an insurance agent also known for her work as a video vixen … and for being the girl involved with Kenya’s significantly reduced presence on the show. Both ladies are bubbly, fashionable, and clearly outspoken with Kelli immediately diving into the drama by bringing up Porsha’s drama to Shamea and Brit’s forthcoming beef with RHOA’s most infamous villain.
Once Shamea tells Porsha what happened at dinner during their strip club meet-up, sparks of potential discord between the returning champ and one of the freshmen ignite. But, let’s be honest, we don’t really care about all that at the moment. It’s Brit’s nascent discord with Kenya that’s the biggest behind-the-scenes headline of the season thus far. And most superfans are watching with a fine tooth comb asking: Where the fuck is Kenya Moore? During filming this summer, news broke that Bravo demoted Kenya (though many reports said fired/suspended) after an incident involving posters of Brit caught in an act of fellatio — assumably what Brit was referring to in the “Now, I have to talk about sucking dick with my mother” voice over at the beginning of the episode. Brit took to Instagram, posting about “hazing” and referencing Georgia laws about distributing “sexually explicit images” without consent.
Kenya vehemently denies any engagement in revenge porn, stating in interviews that she’s “still under contract” with Bravo. There is, however, leaked audio of Kenya calling Brit an escort. But all of this information is from press updates, blogs, and social media, so we still don’t know what actually led to the fight. From this episode alone, what we do know is that Kenya royally pissed off the network as she has no solo scenes or confessionals and isn’t included in any promotional group photos of the cast. Cynthia Bailey has more solo screen time than Kenya, leaving Drew Sidora, of all people, as the only remaining Housewife from season 15 (let’s give a moment of silence to Kandi Burruss for finally stepping down! Her heart wasn’t in it anymore but what a run!). Not much has changed in Drew’s world: she’s still arguing with Ralph, who has now been banished to the basement by the divorce court, and she’s still running questionable businesses out of her home with a plethora of staff and entourage members constantly in her orbit. The latest addition to Drew’s entourage is her “music partner” … Porsha’s ex, Dennis McKinnley?
Apparently, the hot dog king has been a “guiding light” for Drew during her breakup, with their studio sessions sometimes being the only thing getting her out of bed. Now, this is the first I’ve heard of Dennis’s “passion” for music as a producer, but according to Drew, he’s been at it for “a very long time,” which could mean anything since we know Drew has a complicated relationship with the truth. All of this seems like another contrived storyline from Drew and an excuse for Dennis to be on TV, but we’ll see how it plays out. He’s saved in her phone as “Dennis Bro,” and Drew claims Porsha fully supports the pair, but during Porsha’s one-on-one with Shamea, there are hints that things may not be strictly platonic. Armed with the tea about Drew and Dennis, and the knowledge that Kelli is already talking about her, Porsha heads into the first group event of the season on the defense.
Shamea hosts the gathering at her home, Sterling Hall (another indication of how rich she is; when is the last time we had a house so big it had its own name à la Vanderpump’s Villa Rosa?), for her birthday. Here, we meet the third new Housewife, Angela Oakley, wife of basketball legend Charles Oakley. She’s kind of shoehorned into the end of the episode and hasn’t left much of an impression on me yet outside of sweating out her hair, but I thoroughly enjoy any type of wig malfunction on Housewives, so thanks for that! Everyone slowly makes their way to the party, sniffing each other out as if it’s the first day of high school. The tension is extra apparent when Kenya enters, exchanging an awkward hello with Brit and Kelli. On the surface, their exchanges seem innocuous enough, but — and maybe this is because we know what is to come — there is a somewhat cold energy between Kenya and the newbies, which darkens like a storm cloud when Kenya inquires about Brit’s ring.
Brit is instantly offended by Kenya’s comment, questioning if this is her first marriage. Though I didn’t find Kenya’s questions all that deep taken at face value, considering the awkward vibes of the scene, plus Kenya’s larger-than-life reputation as a villain, I can see why Brit views it as “nice/nasty.” The drama continues to unfold when Porsha arrives hours late, interrupting Gerald as he bestows Shamea with a Rolls Royce. She breaks through the audience during the grand gesture as guests look on curiously, another instance of unspoken contention brewing just below the surface. Shamea and Porsha allow their tension to simmer through whispered apologies behind closed doors while Brit decides to unearth hers by pulling Kenya aside directly. Kenya swerves the attempt at sparring from a newbie by deflecting and bringing up Kelli’s drama with Porsha.
Porsha sits down, boxing gloves on, as the entire cast convenes on one of Shamea’s couches and Kelli admits to asking why Porsha “took that woman’s husband.” Not missing a beat, Porsha responds with “Wait, what is your name again?” and the two have a quick ping-pong back and forth before moving on as quickly as the Atlanta ladies always do, with Drew now in the hot seat. Shamea starts by questioning why she didn’t get an invitation to Drew’s birthday party before passing the ball to Porsha who asks why she received her invite from her baby daddy. Drew begins to deny and deflect, but Shamea stays on her neck (with some good ole instigating from the peanut gallery), prefacing her next blow by saying she’d be “inauthentic” if she didn’t ask. As the credits roll, she goes for the final shot and asks, “Are you dating Dennis now?” The episode of course ends with a “To be continued…” leaving us ample drama for the weeks to come. Welcome back, ladies!
